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  Sometimes, after we’ve been apart for a few days, I see your tattoos and your glowing blue eyes and dark hair and I’m almost scared to touch you, you’re almost too beautiful. Now you’re of two worlds and I can feel the tug of each on you. I hope you know that I don’t expect you to change just to be with me.

  I can’t imagine what it would have been like to be the black sheep in a family as insulated as yours. I love how my parents actually make you nervous because you like them so much. You’re never nervous that I can tell otherwise. Annoyed, sad sometimes, but not nervous…

  JUNE

  Chapter Seven

  I quit cold turkey. Like I should have done the second my family left.

  My first resolution was to stop being lazy and cut out all the bad habits. I got up to switch on lights. I pulled open my drawers. Manually doing all the little things took twice as much time. But I still felt okay. My old rash hadn’t even flared.

  “Julia?” Paula called through the door. I’d forgotten today was her twice-weekly day to clean the apartment.

  “Hi, Paula.” I backed away instead of welcoming her, no longer sure if I should be in such close quarters with outsiders, having no idea if I was doing anything to them the way I had with John. I had assumed that since I was only half Puri, and John seemed to be fine all throughout our senior year, I just didn’t have the same effect on outsiders. Now it seemed I might have been wrong.

  After John, Paula was the person I was physically closest to on a regular basis. I’d enjoyed getting to know her, and even found excuses to talk to her when she was busy. I knew all about her five-year-old twin daughters and their family life; I’d let myself become too interested. I suddenly worried that reading someone else’s energy—which was impossible for me not to do if I was in a conversation—was cheating as well.

  “You okay?” She looked around. The trash bags from my last cleaning frenzy were stuffed and sitting out in the living room, and there were bits of debris and glass on the floor.

  “Oh, yes.” I waved a dismissive hand. “Just packing. Don’t worry about those. I’ll remove them.” I walked away from Paula, isolating myself to a whole new degree, trying to get as far from her as possible.

  How long would it take to kill off my abilities for good? Maybe if I stopped them in myself, they would stop developing in John. I didn’t know if it would work, but that was all I could think of to do. That and stay away from John in the meantime.

  Novak had claimed we could influence certain, predisposed outsiders to become more like us. In traits and appearance, Novak’s handpicked assistants had gradually come to vaguely resemble us—Kendra most definitely—until they abruptly broke down psychologically. Now I couldn’t stop thinking about that happening to John.

  But what about Jade? If she had similar abilities, she seemed fine using them, and no one in her family seemed worse for wear. But I couldn’t take the chance that John was exactly like his grandmother.

  Paula began sweeping glass from the living room floor into a pile, and I gently closed the door to my bedroom, taking a seat on my bed, tucking my legs under me.

  “John,” I said softly when he picked up my call.

  “Hey, baby.” His voice was tired and husky.

  “Did you make it through semis?” I asked.

  “Yes. That was a rough one.”

  “Why?” He never complained about his tournaments being hard. He rarely complained about tennis, period, even though I knew he hated it. I shifted and stretched my legs out in front of me, brushing a streak of dust off my shorts.

  “Only because I was tired and it was hot. I somehow volunteered to take my grandmother to the airport at 4:30 in the morning.”

  “What? She left? I thought she was supposed to stay if you made the finals.”

  “She said it was too hot. So Alex and I played cards and just never went to bed.”

  I smiled, picturing the whole thing. I loved that the brothers were so close in age, like Liv and me, but they never competed over important things. Games—cards, pool, darts, horseshoes, anything they could get their hands on—were a different story.

  John cleared his throat. “By the way, my grandmother liked you, and she hates everyone.”

  “Really? That’s nice. You’re her favorite, right?” It had been obvious to me just from the way Jade looked at him—proud.

  “Oh, yeah.”

  I laughed that he had no qualms admitting it. Now would be the time to ask more about Jade but I found myself not filling the silence. Why scare John when I had a plan to stop it all?

  “Julia,” he said.

  “John,” I said, a smile in my voice.

  “When are you coming to Dallas?”

  I was quiet.

  “Look, I know you’re mad because otherwise you would already be here. And we would have talked before now.”

  “You could have called me too.” He’d texted me to see if I got home okay and to tell me when he’d arrived in Dallas, but it was rare for us not to talk for one day, let alone three.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so blunt about my parents. I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings. I was just pissed that our night got ruined. I’ll tell them today that you’re for sure coming on tour this summer.”

  Oh. I realized it was the perfect thing to hide behind now. Maybe even for the whole summer.

  “I don’t want to put you in a bad position…” I said.

  “You’re the love of my life. Who cares what they think? I can do it all.”

  “Maybe they’re right, maybe this summer you need to just finish what you started how many years ago? Ten? More?”

  “What are you talking about? We aren’t changing plans,” he said, getting more upset than I’d heard in a long time.

  “It’s only two months.” I hated hearing myself play it off like it wasn’t a big deal.

  There was silence for a moment.

  “Are you serious?”

  For a second, I entertained the fantasy that maybe I was crazy. It had been late that night. Maybe I hadn’t seen any of what I thought I’d seen at his house. Maybe he hadn’t had a vision of this bedroom a year ago. Things were the same as they’d always been.

  “I love you,” I said, wanting to smooth over what I’d just said.

  I could sense more than hear his sigh of relief.

  Then it was like every color in the room flipped to neon, the air shifted so drastically.

  I whipped around and watched the entry, waiting. Angus came to stand in the doorway of my bedroom.

  His hood was down and his translucent eyes glowed as he put a finger to his lips.

  “I love you too,” John said on the other end of the line. “So get in the car and come to Dallas.”

  I watched Angus give me a slow smile when he saw I wasn’t startled. At any other time, I would have replayed John’s ‘I love you,’ over and over in my head, enjoying the thrill because he rarely said it.

  “Are you there?” John asked, annoyed.

  “Paula just walked in.”

  “Got it,” John said, his voice carefully neutral. “Call me back.”

  “Bye,” I whispered and ended the call, my eyes never leaving Angus’s.

  I began shaking my head, speechless. He made a gesture like he was driving a car and slipped out of the room.

  I waited ten minutes before I gathered my bag and keys and walked to the entryway.

  “Bye, Paula,” I called, waiting to hear in her tone that everything was normal, that she hadn’t seen Angus.

  “Bye, Julia,” Paula’s voice rang out from the second bedroom.

  Angus had snuck by her. As I made my way down the hotel hallway and then into the elevator, I glanced out of the corner of my eye at the security cameras, knowing they were hidden in the lights, in the corners of the walls.

&nb
sp; How had he done it? How had he gotten around the codes?

  I realized, scarily, he’d done it simply by walking into the apartment. In plain sight. Most likely right behind Paula. Which meant others could do it.

  “So?” he asked from the backseat the second I ducked in and closed the car door, the sound thundering through the empty garage.

  It was so confusing to see Angus. John knew me, but he didn’t understand how I’d been raised or what it felt like to rein yourself in every time you left home. Living in this state made me feel like I was trying to survive on an island. Now suddenly, out of nowhere, I wasn’t alone.

  “So what?” I asked.

  “What’s your answer?”

  I didn’t respond.

  “Julia, I can sense that dude from a mile away. I know when he’s been in your apartment or even near the W. A month ago, when I first got to Austin, it wasn’t like that.”

  “I don’t feel it.” Maybe I was too close to him all the time.

  “You need to get far away from him.”

  “I made a decision. I’m stopping everything. It worked with Roger and Ellis.” At that moment, I decided to go all in with Angus, just the way I used to.

  “Yeah, Novak neutered them. But that took months of them not using. Your best bet—his best bet—is you staying away.”

  “I know,” I said, admitting finally that I had to leave.

  “So what are you waiting for? If you’re with him and he has abilities, Novak will find him through his spies, through his visions, who knows how else.”

  I listened, aware Angus was trying to hijack my life. “So now you have respect for Novak’s power?”

  “I don’t understand why you haven’t already left.”

  “Because I’m trying to figure out the best way to tell him!”

  Angus leaned back against the seat. Then, as if he had a new idea, he said, “I can do it.”

  “No. You won’t,” I said, deliberately using an unworried tone to treat Angus’s words as an empty threat.

  “I’m serious. Every passing day hurts us. If you don’t tell him, I will.”

  “You know I would never, ever let you talk to him,” I cut Angus off.

  “Then stop putting it off,” Angus said in a sudden biting voice, letting me know that he was deadly serious.

  AUGUST, two months later

  JOHN

  I couldn’t wait to see you in Dallas. Getting you out of Austin felt so right, like it was the beginning of our real life together. It felt like everything was headed in a good direction.

  I remember being nervous about you being with my parents so much on tour, but I told myself it was going to be fine. We were only months away from going to California and having true independence. I know high school couples who go to college together mostly don’t work out, but we’re not most couples…

  JUNE

  Chapter Eight

  I’d left while it was still dark to arrive in time to watch John play in the finals of the Texas State Open. It was only the first few days of my own private rehab, resisting impulses that were second nature. The side effects were terrible—the headaches, the rash that had appeared this morning, the depression. It was worse than almost two years ago when I’d first been told by Novak to stop using my abilities. Of course any restraint then hadn’t lasted very long. I’d pretty much always cheated.

  I arrived at the tennis center, a sprawling complex in the suburbs of Dallas, a checkerboard of courts with a grey-shingled pro shop in the middle. It was the start of the out-of-town summer tour we’d once planned on. I was an hour early. No one was there except staff who scurried around, setting up the entrance table, adjusting the board, and putting up nets.

  I went into the women’s locker room and waited, knowing this may be the last moment when things could possibly still be the same. We could still carry out our plans for this summer and then move to California. I could warn John about Angus, I could decide Angus had it all wrong and my father was long gone. If John had any abilities, they were so slight anyway, and I could tell him how to make them go away.

  My eyes popped open when a small group of women and girls walked into the locker room.

  It had to be time. I kept my eyes to the floor, wending my way past the group who began conferencing around a large, square bench in the center of the locker room. As I walked by, everyone looked up. Even if I wasn’t recognized, people always paused and took note of my presence. It wasn’t me specifically as much as their subconscious recognition that I was somehow different.

  Opening the door, I almost slammed directly into John’s chest.

  John put up his hands to stop the collision. When he saw me, his dark brown eyes lit up and his hands automatically curved around my shoulders. I was leery of onlookers, realizing we were in the center of the action and now John was noticeable as a player who had advanced to the finals.

  “Hi, Julia,” John’s mom said from just behind him. “We’re checking in and then, if you’d like, come sit with us. Alex is coming up.”

  “Thanks.” I was aware of John’s hands on me in front of the crowd and his mom. “I’m going to hang back though,” I said reluctantly. I’d told John I’d come but I’d have to stay in the background.

  “Gotcha,” Kathleen said as if she just remembered my situation. I felt like I’d just lost the imaginary point I’d gained from showing up.

  Kathleen turned to John. “Hurry, okay?”

  I could tell she was nervous for him. She walked over to study the board, looking at her son’s name in the finals box, giving us a moment to say hello after days apart.

  “Hi.” I smiled.

  “I can’t be separated from you like that,” John said decidedly, as if it were something he simply refused to do again.

  The black cloud swiftly rolled in.

  “Did you used to say that to all the girls?” I joked. I wouldn’t discuss anything serious until after his match.

  “You know I didn’t.”

  “I missed you so much.” I inched back to look at him. I automatically reached up to touch his high cheekbone, my fingers nearly brushing his long lashes, unable to stop even though we were in public. His tan skin was so smooth, without a single pore. His eyes still had the green flecks toward the center, but otherwise, John looked the same as he always had. I relaxed a little.

  He kissed my palm, his hands moving to my waist then sliding down until his fingertips grazed the top of my back pockets. I inhaled sharply, my head tilting to the side as I let myself feel his touch.

  “Guess who I’m playing?”

  “No,” I said, starting to laugh.

  “Yep. He’s turning seventeen this year so he’s in my bracket.”

  “Where is Alex?”

  “Probably giving himself a pep talk in a corner somewhere.”

  “Be careful. Don’t kill each other.”

  “He’s the one who needs to be careful.”

  “Has Alex ever beaten you in a tournament?”

  John looked over his shoulder, pretending to be distracted and avoiding my question. I had to stop myself from smiling.

  “Can I drive home with you after this?” John asked, suddenly pensive, changing the subject. The Fords would be home for a few days before their next trip.

  “Of course,” I said, curious. Why did he want to talk to me? I needed to say something too. “Is something going on?”

  “Nothing.” John looked like he was about to say more but then he shook his head.

  “It’s so good to see you.” It was. Even better than seeing Angus who I’d worried about for six months.

  I stared at his full lips. Forgetting myself in public, I stood on tiptoe and touched my lips to his. I didn’t deepen the kiss, but it was enough to make us both feel a little out of control. I could hear John’s heartbeat begin to race
.

  “John! Let’s go!” Alex called.

  John made an annoyed sound, and we broke apart. He looked over his shoulder at his brother and then back to me.

  He frowned. “You look like you haven’t eaten in days.”

  “I’m fine. Good luck.”

  “I don’t need any!” John joked as he walked off.

  I found a good vantage point on a top bleacher of the center court, which must have sat about two hundred. The Ford parents were down below, courtside.

  As the match began, I was so relieved to see that John was good, but he wasn’t perfect. He wasn’t exponentially better than Alex.

  At first I thought the matchup of the brothers would be funny, but then I saw why Kathleen had her hands close to her face, as if she wanted to cover her eyes. The boys slammed the ball at each other as hard as they possibly could and threw their entire bodies into returning shots they otherwise would have let go.

  John kept a consistent lead, but Alex kept coming back before John knocked him back down again.

  John began to pull further ahead and placed a shot into the far corner of Alex’s side, into the last inch where the ball would have been called in. There was no way Alex could get it, but he still lunged for it.

  I heard a pop. Then Alex suddenly went down and grabbed his knee. John’s parents stood.

  The umpire ran over and John was second in line, coming to kneel at his brother’s side. John reached for Alex’s knee. I stood and then quickly sat back down, unable to see anything now that Alex was surrounded.

  The crowd murmured.

  From what I knew from playing soccer, it was most likely Alex’s ACL. If that was the case, he was done. He’d need surgery and he’d be out for months, missing out on playing his senior year when he needed tennis to earn him a scholarship.

  Of course it had to happen when John was playing him. Alex’s fierce competitiveness was probably why it had happened.